Echoes in Time

Through the fields of time the soul essence flows, sometimes sending ripples of the past in thoughts, feelings, words and even the way we behave. Today as I was opening up my energy to receive more light within my relationship with self and others I heard an echo from my past from a time when I was dealing with the aftermath of a very traumatic time for me. It was the first two lines from a poem I wrote which was helping me to process the events that had taken place in my life.

They were:

“A lonely life is all I see,

Full of unwanted misery”

They played over and over in my head and I knew that this was a part of self from that moment in time which needed my love and healing. The part of me that was still stuck in the trauma, with nothing but a vision of darkness and pain for the rest of my life. That part of self that could never imagine being happy with anyone, not even myself. It was a very dark time in my life as you can tell from the beginning of my poem.

 I had just escaped from a domestic violent relationship, where the man who I was with used to physically, mentally and emotionally beat me up and torture me. I do not need to go further into the details, as that is not what this is about. All that needs to be said was that I was a fragment of light engulfed in darkness. With all of my muddied mind and feelings at the time I believed I would never be happy, that all men were not to be trusted, feeling that I would never be safe. I had so much hate for men and myself I closed myself off to love, in an attempt to keep myself safe. Some of the words of my ex boyfriend echoed through my being that I was unlovable, disgusting, that nobody would ever love me, that it’s better to be by yourself than with an a***hole. I may have escaped the physical abuse but the echoes of the mental and emotional abuse played over and over again in my mind, it was ingrained so deep I never thought I would recover.

But I did recover and became stronger, more beautiful, loving, happy, compassionate, forgiving, with a capacity to experience love and blissful feelings beyond my wildest dreams. My heart opened and continues to expand to the unconditional loving being that I truly am. I am no longer willing to align to pain and suffering in relationships, I am no longer willing to allow past echoes to interfere with or shut myself of in any way to my true happiness and the love I am truly capable of experiencing. My heart knows and emanates this pure love, it is unlimited, boundless. With the guidance of my soul I lovingly invite any fragments of self back into the warmth and pure love of my soul, my pure essence. For I am always safe held in the pure love that I am. I shine and radiate this pure love out through all space and time, to every aspect of myself, throughout all space and time.

I am safe, I am love